ehem.
forget my past posts.

remember this one.

we’re together AGAIN.
i’ll never let him go again.

stupidity?

no.

for me, it’s LOVE.

no more tears.
no more pain.
no more him.

i am movin’ on.

i will prove it.

thanks to TOTO :))

though i’m not sure if he feels the same,
i love him.

i promised myself not to bring the past back.
yes.

PAST IS PAST.

happy na ako.!

Conversation sa YM

fallen.angel_10: hi?
BUZZ!
fallen.angel_10: oh. hehehe
fallen.angel_10: ui. nu ga to
fallen.angel_10: ai nku… ge ge
fallen.angel_10: tsk. deadma na nmn as always
BUZZ!
fallen.angel_10: anu ga
jeff_tyler10: nu b./
fallen.angel_10: puro ka buzz
jeff_tyler10: msma b
fallen.angel_10: ndi po
jeff_tyler10: ah
fallen.angel_10: cnu kchat mo
jeff_tyler10: me gngawa c jeres at eden
fallen.angel_10: ah
jeff_tyler10: oo
fallen.angel_10: k
jeff_tyler10: gnun
fallen.angel_10: wat
jeff_tyler10: me dhilan lge…
fallen.angel_10: lga ang anu
jeff_tyler10: wla
fallen.angel_10: lge nmn.
jeff_tyler10: ok
fallen.angel_10: haist. kxura. lies. lies. lies

jeff_tyler10: bka nga
fallen.angel_10: nku. away na nmn
fallen.angel_10: i love you jeff. hai nku. bye

jeff_tyler10: di hlata
fallen.angel_10: cnu bang d ngppahalata… sbagay.,. d nmn acu xur if mhal mu tlga acu eh
jeff_tyler10: kung 2nay dpat naiintndhan mu.. aq
fallen.angel_10: lge ko nmn gnagawa un,… lge ko nlang iniintindi ka… kw tong d mrunong umntndi sken…
jeff_tyler10: di mu q naiintndhan, di mu nman q kilala
fallen.angel_10: oo nga. d na kta klala…
jeff_tyler10: di na q k2lad ng date
fallen.angel_10: alm ko… iba ka na,
jeff_tyler10: di n q kcng saya nuon,
fallen.angel_10: and d mu na ako mahal gaya nuon
jeff_tyler10: khit nman ikw
fallen.angel_10: mahal kta
jeff_tyler10: tamo
fallen.angel_10: o bket
jeff_tyler10: wla
fallen.angel_10: d k nannwla
jeff_tyler10: di n q naniniwala s mga ngssbe nian sken… kalokohan..
jeff_tyler10: di q lng lam ung sau,,
fallen.angel_10: kalokohan.. tngn mu nloloko kta?!
jeff_tyler10: ndi.. ata
fallen.angel_10: haayy.. kelan k kya mgttwla sken
jeff_tyler10: mhrap n mgtwla,,,, hnggng salita lng ung iba…………..
fallen.angel_10: ibahin mo ako…
fallen.angel_10: prang wla lang sau ung lahat ng pngsamahan ntn!
jeff_tyler10: anu png ggwin q s nkraang un??
fallen.angel_10: ok . wla.
jeff_tyler10: o ikw, anu ggwin mu dun s nkraang un?
fallen.angel_10: ang galing mu mgpanggap khapun.
fallen.angel_10: npaniwla mu ako na mahal mo ako
fallen.angel_10: tsk
fallen.angel_10: lies. lies. lies
jeff_tyler10: khpon lng ulit aq ngpk22o!!
jeff_tyler10: tng ina!
fallen.angel_10: tlga? totoo k khpun??
fallen.angel_10: so fake k ngaun
jeff_tyler10: oo
jeff_tyler10: ngaun lng b
fallen.angel_10: lge nmn..
fallen.angel_10: gngwa mu lng yn pra msktn aq
jeff_tyler10: araw2 me nnnakit skin……
fallen.angel_10: gnun k rn sken
jeff_tyler10: iba ung skn
fallen.angel_10: ye. i know
fallen.angel_10: manhid k nmn
jeff_tyler10: lam mu pla
jeff_tyler10: manhid k din
fallen.angel_10: tlga, wla nmn aq dpt mrmdmn
jeff_tyler10: lalo n q meron b dpat
fallen.angel_10: jf mhl kta
jeff_tyler10: pde ba
fallen.angel_10: bkt.
fallen.angel_10: d mu mtnggp n mhl k ng PAST mo?
jeff_tyler10: mhirap,
fallen.angel_10: bket
fallen.angel_10: anu ba gnawa ko
fallen.angel_10: bat d mu ako mtanggap ulet
jeff_tyler10: ewan q
fallen.angel_10: d na kta klala
jeff_tyler10: wala
fallen.angel_10: hayyy…
jeff_tyler10: aq dn d q n dn kilala
fallen.angel_10: kelan mu aq maiintndhan
jeff_tyler10: kelan mu AQ maiintndhan
fallen.angel_10: pnu kta maiintndhn e ayw mong intndihin kta
jeff_tyler10: ewan
fallen.angel_10: bt m to gngwa
jeff_tyler10: di q dn tlga lam
fallen.angel_10: mahal na mahal kita
jeff_tyler10: anu gusto mu sgot q dun
fallen.angel_10: wla. ung totoo
jeff_tyler10: di q lam
fallen.angel_10: tpatin mu kc ako.
fallen.angel_10: sbhn mung d mu ako mahal
fallen.angel_10: wla nang feelings
jeff_tyler10: tng ina
fallen.angel_10: kesa ssbhn mong mhal mo ako
fallen.angel_10: tpos d totoo
jeff_tyler10: kasura eh bye n nga!
fallen.angel_10: wg
fallen.angel_10: wg mu ako iwan d2
fallen.angel_10: iiwan mo na nmn ako
fallen.angel_10: lge nlang
fallen.angel_10: kelan kea dratng ung araw na d mu na ako iiwan
jeff_tyler10: bye na ok??
fallen.angel_10: auq
fallen.angel_10: wg mu ako iwn
jeff_tyler10: bukas nlng o bhala na
fallen.angel_10: auq
fallen.angel_10: pls
jeff_tyler10: me ggmit p ni2 kya bye na.
jeff_tyler10: txt nlng
fallen.angel_10: txt? d k ngpprmdm
jeff_tyler10: bsta
jeff_tyler10: bye.
fallen.angel_10: iiwan mu n nmn ako
fallen.angel_10: haayyy…
fallen.angel_10: mahl na mahl kta
jeff_tyler10: di pq ngppaalam d2 lng nu b?????
jeff_tyler10: mhal mhal din kita bye
fallen.angel_10: sana nga d2 k lng ngppaalam
fallen.angel_10: haayy… mahal na mahal kita..

meh ng-suggest sken kagabe na magsulat ng story dito sa blog ko about the tragic love story that happened to me… i thought that cute nga yun so i’ve decided to do her idea…

it all began with a text message from Wyn. “Sis meh kilala ka bng gn2ng #? 0916427****”… chneck ko sa phonebook ko and i realized na di ko toh kilala… so i got curious and saved the number but i decided na wag muna itext not knowing it is the boy that i will love the most…

weeks passed, i never remembered to text that number until one day, i decided to browse my phonebook. nakita ko ulet yung # na yun and i decided to text it… pero i am really playful kea instead of saying the simple, “hi”, i texted him, “ah kea pala”… so ang palabas ko ay nawrong send lang… and nung tinanung nung # kng san ko nkuha ang # nia, sbe ko i mistyped the digits of my classmate’s phone number… such a lie pero the boy believed. hahaha. uto uto pla, i thought. so he introduced himself as JEFF. he is kind. pero i felt nothing. la pa spark that time…

jan 2008, expressions practice nung una ko mameet in person si jeff and dahil to sa crush ko dte that time, si bano. eh kasi. meh role play kme nuon sa filipino eh. tpus kme ang loveteam dte… eh ang name dun ni bano ay jeff, akin naman ay claudia. meju kilig ako dun kya i’ve decided na every time na dadaan si bano, tatawagin ko xang jeff. . . so there was this time na habang nakatambay ako sa corridor, dumaan si bano na meh kasamang tall boy. so, ang ginawa ko, tinawag ko si bano na jeff. tpus 2mingin lang si bano and DEADMA ako. hahaha. pero in fairness, dun sila 2mambay ng tall boy malapit sa tinatambayan ko. few minutes later, tinawag ako ni bano…
BANO: angelica!
AKO: bakit??
BANO: kilala mo si jeff?
AKO: diba ikaw?
BANO: tanga! eto. (pointing his finger to the tall boy)
GOSH!!! sobrang pahiya ako dun!!! ang kasama pala ni bano ay ung 2nai na jeff!!! hiyang hiya talaga ako. kso. ngsalita ulet si bano! pambano talaga xa. sbe eh yun daw ai kapatid ni jansen. eh alam ko nmn un kea sbe ko, “alam ko” tpus di na ako ngsalita. kunware busy ako nun sa paglilikot ng cp ng manliligaw ko that time…

simula nun, naiya na akong itext si jeff… nakakahiya talaga…

—>to be continued.

sinungaling si ex ko!

iba ang mga sinabi nia saken!!! ibang iba!

so, ang nagsabe ng 22o sken e un tinraydor nyang kaibigan…

February 28.
fiesta sa San Luis.
Magkasama ang manloloko kong ex at yung
tinyardor nyang kebigan.

pumunta sila sa bahay ng bitch.
uhmm. mgkatext na pala si ex at the coquet.
and then, habang magkausap ung si friend
at si kapatid ni coquet,

my ex started to court the b!tch

through text

and then, the “ex-friend” of my ex

said that he changed the name of the b!tch

into my name so he won’t notice it was the girl he’s courting.

oh gosh!! how could he do this to me?!
sh***TTT!!!

poor poor me..

nagpaloko

lang ako… :((

Broken…Here I am on my knees. Living with my broken heart. My mistake was believing that someone would be here with open arms to catch me as I fell. Instead I hit the floor shattering into a thousand pieces of nothingness. Where we’re you when I needed you most? I look back and I see that I changed who I was. I thought I needed to be something different. Something that you would be proud of. I’m not going to lie to myself and say it is entirely your fault. Because that wouldn’t be true. I changed willingly over time. I thought I had to change who I was. I thought in doing so that it would bring you closer to me. I thought that maybe then you would take notice of how much I’ve grown up. And maybe then you would put your arms around me, holding me in that warm embrace. The one that makes me feel safe. Didn’t you ever ask yourself why I hugged you so much? Why the affection? Did you believe that I did it just for attention? Or to be playful? Because I will tell you now that those weren’t the reasons behind it.

I did it because I wanted you to hug me back. Because you we’re one of the very few that I ever felt safe with. You looked in all the wrong places for the answers to why I did it. You over thought it, looking for a deeper meaning that wasn’t there. The answer was staring you in the face. You couldn’t know how many times I wanted to run to you. To ask you to hold me. There was so many times I wanted to call you, as I sat there crying. Overwhelmed and alone. Needing someone there. To have someone wrapping there arms around me and telling me that I didn’t have to go at it alone. When those times descended upon me. My thoughts turned to you. I would reach for my cell phone, opening my phone book and looking at your name. My thumb hesitating over the send button. But I never could do it. I couldn’t find the courage to call you. I guess a part of me always knew that you wouldn’t catch me. I could call you when I didn’t need you.

I know I should have had others I could go to. You tried to tell me about how others cared for me and that I should try to talk to them when I had problems. But how could you expect me to go to others when I have trust problems? How many times now have I told you that I have trust problems? I was never like you. I couldn’t simply just talk to anyone about anything. I’m reserved and quiet. That I trusted you so much should have told you something right there. That you became important to me. That I could love you so much without being in love with you, should have told you everything you needed to know. Every time I fell I looked towards you for direction. In my heart I sat there with open arms, waiting for someone to embrace me. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I found the pain of being alone becoming unbearable. It was a force that was crushing my heart. Can you see now what you mean to me?

I hug myself. Because there is no one else to do it. I grew up feeling alone, being the odd man out. I started craving attention. I wanted others to see that I lived. I wanted people to take notice that I existed. I waited and waited to see if there would be someone who would look upon me. But when the people who did pay attention to me decided I was a tool for their amusement. I felt a sense of despair welling up inside of me. I looked at the world and saw no beauty. Instead I saw people who would hurt others for their own personal gains. The world stared back and I could only find myself saying “Fuck you!” if this is how it was going to be I decided I didn’t need anyone.

Seeing such actions from others led me down a road that I didn’t wish to travel. A road that I found to be empty and neglected without care. Walking along this road, I found myself losing what I was about. I sacrificed what I thought was unnecessary. I did what I had to do in an attempt to cut off the pain that was flooding my heart. Instead I only made things worse didn’t I? I pushed away any hopes of living a life that came with love in it. Wasn’t asking for someone to be in love with me. I didn’t ask for a lover. I did ask for someone to notice that I was hurting. I was slowly self destructing without realizing it. This was a request that fell upon deaf ears. For so long I’ve looked for comfort. Maybe that is why I let myself open up to you the way I did. Maybe I thought that you would be someone I could turn to. That maybe you would be the one to mend the hole that was in my heart. I can see now that I placed to many wishes upon you. The fondest desires I had we’re too much.

I asked for so much from you didn’t I? Looking back at things. You did try with me. You worked so hard to cheer me up when I was crying. Tickling me, trying to force me to smile through the pain. You did what you believed was in my best interest. I still remember that one night. When I got hurt. When I thought that a dear friend wanted more than a friendship. But they weren’t being honest. They did what they believed I wanted. Going against what it was that they wished for. Revealing that they didn’t want that with me. I remember how hurt I was. I couldn’t even begin to understand why someone could do that. How someone could hurt someone like that with a careless lie. To pretend to love someone back. But not meaning it. I remember how I sought you then. How I cried so much. My heart in such pain. I choked on my words. Barely able to say anything. I had to force out the words one at a time. Minutes going by before I could get out the next one. Do you remember that?

I remember the way you kept hugging me. Brushing my hair with your fingers, as you looked at me with such concern. I remember I cried on your shoulder slightly. I apologized for that. You smiled and made a joke about it. That was your way. Always with a joke. Or a tickling. Doing whatever it took to make me smile through the pain. But you tried so hard with that. More often than not I simply wished for you to put your arms around me. To brush my hair with your fingers. To tell me that it would be okay. I love you for the way you tried. But sometimes the best thing was an embrace. Some small words of comfort. Those carry so much and so far. Those are what I wished for. The little things like that I have wished for all my life. I have spent my entire life time in search of that.

That is what I found in you. The one person who is here. The one who gave me that gift. You asked why I always came to you when I got hurt. I couldn’t give you that answer. If you could see me now, I might be able to finally tell you why. To tell you the reason that I came to you. I came to you because I knew that you wouldn’t have turned away from me. I came to you because I felt safe in your presence. You made me feel like I was something more than trash by the side of the road. You looked at me and saw someone who could me more than what they were. You saw a person and not an object that was meant to be used by others. When I saw you. I saw someone who I wished to protect. Someone who I came to love and respect. You came close to touching my heart.
I changed so much. You influenced a lot of those changes. Sometimes I thought to myself. I love you and I hate you at the same time. I loved you for everything you did. I hated you for the way you knew me so well. I couldn’t hide anything from you. I was an open book before your eyes. Now I lay here broken into so many pieces. Believing that you were going to be there to break my fall. But I was wrong. You weren’t there. I fell and I don’t know who to blame. Is this the cost of believing in you? Or the result of my desires for comfort? As I look back at the past few years of knowing you. The constant thing I see is that you and I are similar yet different. You asked so many questions in an attempt to understand what I was about. But those damn answers were always before your eyes. I didn’t pretend to be deep. I wasn’t about something else than what I showed. I’m actually quite simple. Surprisingly you still haven’t figured that out. Now I am afraid that it is too late for you to see that. For now I am broken.

I hold my cell phone to my heart. One hand covering the other, in a vain attempt to hold on to the hope that you will call. I might be broken. But I wish to have hope. That we can reach out to one another before it is too late. Before my dreams come true. And I find you missing with no signs of your return to my life…

march 10, 2009,
hapon, nakipagbreak ako. wala na.
masakit.
subalit mas masakit na nakahanap agad sya ng kapalit ko
march 11, 2009, umaga,
may bago na agad sya.
ang bilis.
oh yung gm pa nga pala.
ang sakit din nun.
yun bang ipaglantaran na masaya sya nung wala na,
nung tapos na ang lahat.
and may nagsabe saken,
2 timer daw sya nung kami pa.
ouch.
yung gf daw nya yung kabet.
ok…
then sinabe ko sa barkada ko.
narinig ng isa ko pang friends,
di sya naniniwala.
so, tinanong nya yung girl…
dineny ni girl. di daw sya papatol.
ok. di ako convinced
so, i confronted him about it.
sabi nya, di daw sya 2 timer
and nagbreak sila dahil dineny nga sya.
ok. so what. that’s karma.
back to the story,
so ganun nga.
pero actually, nasasaktan din ako…
iniisip ko,
kung ako parin sana iyon,
di mangyayari yon..
pero duh? ala na pag-asa.
so why pa?
pero ang sakit talaga.
wait, may naalala ako.
yung #28 nya.
hai… ang sakit sakit nun!
feb 28, 2009,
nagpromise si ex na magiging sila ng gf nya ngayon
pag nagbreak kami.
wow! may kasunduan!
anung treaty naman yon?
fraud treaty?
replacement treaty?
siguro ala makakaintindi saken.
nu pa nga ba pakialam ko dito
eh wala na…
kaso ang sakit.
naninikip talaga ang dibdib ko..
di ko to pnost para maawa ang nagbabasa saken.
i just want to express my feelings..
para dun naman ang blogs diba?
for expression?.

haaayyy..
remember
di to paninira.
wala akong binanggit na names.
i just expressed my side.
peace tayong lahat

no more 10.
no more anniversary to look forward to.
no more “us”.
no more “mahal ko”.
just tears.
tears..

-April 10, 2008 to March 10, 2009-

yes. it’s our 11th months today.
and now he’s gone.

bye jf..
by mahal ko :((

The three words that mean the most aren’t “I love you”, with its history of being an accomplice to lies, with its bad reputation as a myth. What is “I love you” but the easy way out, the secret weapon revealed at the ends of long-drawn battles between desperation and despair? “I love you” is what you say when you run out of valid arguments but decide to keep fighting anyway. “I love you” is what you use when you want to appear to be someone you’re not. These are powerful words, powerful in the way that politicians and generals are nowadays, worth their weight in gold. “I love you” has been the pillar of empires and friendships, and their causes for downfall. “I love you” is where you build the tower of your trust, only to see it crumble down when these words are said to someone else. “I love you” is what you use when you want to be unfair, when you want to deliberately hurt. “I love you” throws the whole equation in chaos, unbalances the seesaw. It implies the loss of reason and pride, but is used to manipulate, to blackmail, leaving behind disillusionment and disappointment.

The three words that mean the most aren’t “I want you”, with its raw, blatant inconsideration, its implications of a primal need that is best released orgasmically. “I want you” is what spoiled brats say, it’s what selfish bitches say, it’s what horny boys say. “I want you” is harsh, said through clenched teeth, said with wild eyes. “I want you” is a physical sentence, the amalgamation of skin against a number of factors: skin on skin, fingernail on skin, teeth on skin. It is violent and rapid, a whirlwind of emotion, an explosion of saliva and other bodily fluids. These are words that have no origin, they emerge from the basest of instincts, they are triggered by smell, by touch, by the look of rawness in another person’s eyes. These are words that signal the coming of a storm, and like most storms, they wreak havoc and then depart, leaving behind ruin and wounds.

The three words that mean the most aren’t “I need you”, with its childish, clingy implications, its sad, pathetic grievances. “I need you” leaves you open, blinding you to yourself, eradicating all traces of self-respect. “I need you” is the dying breath of a failed relationship. It is the battlecry of an overpowered suitor. These words signal the clinging to memories that are either long gone, or never were. These words bypass true necessity to make fools out of the sayers. These are not words to be used by all; it takes the strongest persons to relay this message correctly. Otherwise all is naught, you only reveal yourself as an empty shell craving for something, anything, to fill it. But then, the strongest persons never have the need to say these words. It’s the irony of life. These words are like taking a knife to your throat and piercing your skin gently, leaving behind a trail of blood too thin for anyone to see, but painful enough for you to feel.

The three words that mean the most, I think, the ones that really hit the mark, and often in the most unexpected of ways, are “I miss you”. This is the sentence that sends the message right home. Because what other message is there? Nothing else, except exactly just that, “I miss you”, and everything else is pulled along into it, like a chain reaction. Unlike “I love you” and the lies that go along with it, “I miss you” is honest and sincere, you only say it when you mean it, and you don’t have to mean it in a big way to really mean it. Unlike “I want you” and its expectations, “I miss you” offers all it has, and waits for nothing in return. Unlike “I need you” and its desperate whines, “I miss you” stands on its own, a whole entity in just three words, devoid of arms that cling to you for life.

“I miss you” means everything and nothing, it is unflinching and honest. It is upbeat and simple, with wisps of longing and clouds of hope. You miss people you used to love, people you used to want, people you used to need. But most of the time the missing is all that’s left, and that’s OK, there’s nothing else you’d change. The missing implies a past that remains in its rightful place. Or it implies the reality and possibilities of the present. It is hope and love and lust and peace all at the same time. Some people say that when they met that person, it was akin to “coming home”. And missing is this manifestation of home-sickness, the way people return to their homelands to die, the way all the comfort the world has to offer is nothing compared to the feeling of being in someone’s arms.

And that’s why I miss you, because you’re not here, and because every time I think about you, that’s all that I think. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, and the world turns for both of us, and I can’t wait until you come home.

From right to left onstage: Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Cinderella sitting independently on their respective chairs wearing their fairy tale costumes.

Sleeping Beauty: The One. Quantum Physics. Love and Relationships. Uncertainty Principle. Collapsing Relationships. Falling in love again. The One. The One? What do you think of “The One”? How do you know if he’s “The One”? Is it in his kiss, when you’re supposed to wake up from the dead? Is it destiny that it has nothing to do with the other heaven-knows-how-many maniacs pretending to be princes who French kissed me while I was sleeping for 100 years? Is he always supposed to be fully armed with swords and shields and a royal name only to slay dragons, that way all women have to be lasses in distress trapped in unsightly castles? Is he supposed to break all the spells and curses women have—and don’t males have curses and spells all the same? How many frogs did the lady in the “Frog Prince” kissed to get to the one?

Lights out.
Lights focus on Snow White.

Snow White: If fairy tale doormat damsels in distress could speak, what would they say about “The One”? Here is a diary entry of the hopelessly persevering lady in the tale called “Frog Prince” on her tireless search for her one true frog.

I’ve had it with frogs. They give you warts. I just had my 27th but I never truly found the one. I mean of course, I’ve always thought that my first frog was my first and last, my only one—while I was at it two months back. And when I got out of it, I thought it was the second, the seventh, the twenty-third and so on. All in all, I’ve kissed 27 different frogs and no two tongues taste the same. But the point is I still haven’t found the right frog.

During one instance in my frog hopping musing, I was thinking Pauli was right when he said that in a given atom, no two electrons can have the same quantum state just as you cannot not love two toads or be loved by two toads in one and the same way. It should be called Love Exclusion Principle.

My point is I wouldn’t want to negate all my past love frogs, whether they’re brutally dissected apart by now or lying dead with their blood and guts turned inside out on the streets. Because I wouldn’t be where I am now without them. See, in a lot of ways, they taught me things essential. Besides, we had our great times together. The magic was good while it lasted.

Lights out.
Lights focus on Cinderella.

Cinderella: What do our highly evolved technical scripts say about love and relationships? Love is a quantum wavefunction. It is reversible. It permeates all space. It is deterministic, that is without our meter sticks poking at it. It should be left alone without our deranged expectations-slash-equations which are predictable in theory but not in practice.

In practice, relationship, unlike love that is irreducible in nature and defies all boundaries, is subject to space-time constraints. Space-time constraints, meaning it is not non local and it is time-dependent. Uncertainty principle applies to relationships, it inevitably contains improbability. And while we’re at it; by measuring, expecting, demanding too little or too much, we break the symmetry.

Lights out.
Lights focus on Sleeping Beauty.

Sleeping Beauty: And what of Collapsing Relationships? Come again? Collapsing relationships. Collapse? Collapsed Relationship is breakup, technically speaking. It’s when the symmetry of the relationship wavefunction broke. Breaking a wavefunction is irreversible. Some things are inevitably lost and irrecoverable. If fairy tale princesses could speak, what would they say about Collapsed Relationships? Our amphibian-lover lady in the “Frog Prince” speaks out again on the collapse of her relationship with her 27th frog.

Why do frogs always leave you? I kissed all 27 frogs but no one really metamorphosed into a real prince. They all said they loved me back but then after a while, all they ever did was hop around and eat flies. I want to love and be loved completely or not at all. But lovers and frogs alike are so unkind. The more you love, the more vindictive love gets. After two weeks in the relationship, when all illusions are gone, loving becomes so much less. Can you really not live without illusions? I’ll give anything for a lifetime where love doesn’t change with time. I’ll give anything for a world where lovers love and are loved or there’ll be no lovers at all. Let parting be only for reasons of hunger, drought, plague, war, and not by the passing of time.

Lights out.
Lights focus on Snow White.

Snow White: After the tragedy, how do you recuperate from a broken bleeding heart? After one collapsed relationship, do you casually go on to the next? How do you fall in love for the nth time? Still our lady in the “Frog Prince” flagrantly speaks about her newfound 28th frog and hopefully her one true frog.

I quit my search for the one true frog after the 27th frog failed to metamorphose into a real prince. I said to myself I would never want to fall in love again. It’s too tragic. Too tiring. Too disillusioning. I was resigned to grow old alone. I mean what can I do? True love’s first kiss and happily ever after only happen in fairy tales and this isn’t one. This is real life.

But myths happen. Right they do only when the world gets occasionally tired of itself so much it would deliberately trip itself while walking. And when it gets sicker, it chooses you, it coaxes you to do a daring somersault then it takes gravity away. Only to leave you suspended in midair completely disoriented. Funny, it’s not bad dancing up there, though.

The weird thing is it happens to you just when you’ve already reconciled yourself with the eternal way life methodically oscillates back and forth like the most forlorn pendulum caused to swing forever in vacuum. Just when you cut out your strings of insistent escalating demands and start going easy with the way things are just as they are. Because the world could be real sometimes it tames you. So real like a strict instructor she crosses your name out of the class list on your 3rd consecutive absence in college. It disciplines you so that you learn to be happy with life as it is only after it has stung your eyes.

So I learned to take what the world gives me without childish tantrums or hopeless romantic expectations. And while people stare at the ceiling for whatever reason, I stare at the floor. I have no idea, I’m probably faced upside down. The world gave me something people have always yearned for. And I was just too resigned to ask after all.

I learned to enclose a portion of time and seal it in a capsule. But not forever, not years, not even minutes in an hourglass. Only moments are immortalized. Like a classic still shot of the first kiss that froze all the world’s time. Or the sweetest voice crystallized in my memory.

So it came. Resigned as I thought as I was, I wanted to live so I chose to believe again and faced love head-on. Life taught me to eat like a child. That if it gives you chocolate, take it before it gets bitter. Forget pride and cynicism, swallow the whole thing without so much as care for the world. But never ever hold too tight, chocolates melt in your hand. They drip out of your grasp.

And that’s the way with everything, that you could never really own anything. The best that you could do is to hold your love dearly because there’s never any guarantee. And as for me, I’m not asking for any. I could only be thankful it came to me.

Lights out.
Lights focus on Snow White.

Cinderella: Fairy tale princesses created their own fairy story in the first episode of the Revolutionary Chronicle, how would their characters choose to end their much too real fairy life story? The female protagonist was given an introductory script containing her background and her curse. From there, she freely knitted her own life-story quilt according to how she wants to end her tale. Here goes.

Lights out.
Lights focus on Snow White.

Snow White: I quote.

…And they lived happily once upon a time until Lady Marcella’s relationship with her then gallant and charming prince collapsed.

One day, as Lady Marcella was demurely sitting alone, meticulously chopping her sizzling pork for lunch at some posh restaurant, she overheard the ultimate dress-wrinkling poise-shattering story of her life. She immodestly eavesdropped and her eyes widened in rage. She sprawled out, pulled her hair, threw her arms and legs and roared, “Que horror! He brokeup with me and then after a year he realizes he still loves me?! Why? I was just a phone call away? He could’ve just texted me to come back, I’m only worth one peso. Que Horror!”

At home, Marcella’s castle-mate, cruel Señorita Angelina tried to jolt her friend back to reality when she said “Que horror mah cherié que horror. Isn’t that your curse? He’s the one and only one lad for you in your pathetic lifetime…” Marcella went limp shaking, went almost suicidal. “He’s going to ask you to take him back and you’ll be doing so because you’re going to fall in love with the same awful jerk twice as he breaks your heart again…thrice as he breaks it again…Repeat”.

After which, disturbed Señorita Angelina broke up with her two-week prince, moved out of their unsightly castle, ran away from home, converted to Christianity only to run away again, with an atheist lad this time. Upon receiving the news, Lady Marcella shuddered and exclaimed “Que Horror deranged Señorita Angelina, que horror! You just broke up with the last one! Don’t you ever learn?! That sexy but conceited bespectacled non-Christian lad you’re with right now is bound to break your heart. All men are! Why, aren’t you supposed to be doing your thesis? I’m afraid you haven’t learned your lesson well enough, Señorita Angelina. All your relationships never got past two weeks and never will! That, my despicably inferior lady is your curse!”

Soon after three more months, the rebound damsel of Lady Marcella’s villainous ex is still in distress. Casual and unconcerned Señorita Angelina completed her thesis, occasionally runs away from home and still unaffectedly flaunts her sexy but conceited bespectacled lover. Lady Marcella is still bitter about her collapsed relationship with her infamous ex but is trying to assuage her hurting by saying “it’s okay, he’s just my first frog anyway”. Now, Lady Marcella keeps her pretty, pretty boys she likes calling “kuya’s”.

Lights out.
Lights focus on Cinderella.

Cinderella: Thus continues the much too real fairy story of Lady Marcella and Señorita Angelina.

Lights out.
Curtains down.